Ok, so now it is time to delve into something completely serious. The other day I was in a "pondering" mood and I thought of something that, if implemented, could change society as we know it. You ready?
What if stealing from a store was only legal if you could get away with it?
I'll give you a moment to process that one...okay now, let me give you a rundown of how this might work. First of all it is important to note that stealing, in and of itself, would not be legal. For example: it would not be legal to take a car from a dealership. It would also be an infraction to take another human being(even though this would technically be considered kidnapping, I can see some zealots misinterpreting the law). Secondly, all establishments that allowed customers to freely take their merchandise, without consequence, would be required to adorn proper signage stating that this is permitted.
Now I know that there is much to this idea in regards to moral obligation, as well as a vast number of other issues. However, don't you think that it would make shopping that much more exciting. Some would not have to change their "M.O" at all. They are already acting as if this law does in fact exist. On the other hand some would take the opportunity to add some much needed "spice" to their vanilla life. I know what your thinking, "what exactly would the consequences be if I did get caught stealing?" Good question. Here is what could happen if you don't make it our the front door with your spoils:
1. Of course you would have to give the merch back. You couldn't just make a mad dash for the door...well I guess you could, but then you would definitely be considered a "perp."
2. Depending on what the product you were trying to "boost" was, would determine the severity of the punishment. Personally I think it would be more interesting if it was up to the store owner as to what these consequences were. For example a sign might read:
Attention Consumer:
If you are caught stealing at this establishment the following may result:
1. If merchandise is between $0.10-$10 you will be required to pay for said merchandise and then do ten push ups while making a ridiculous face.
2. If merchandise is between $10.01-$50 you will be required to pay, as well as have a pie of your choosing thrown in your face.
3. If merchandise is between $50.01-$100 you will be required to pay, as well as chauffeur the owner of the store to work for 1 week .
Well, you get the idea. At any rate this would of course provide more jobs for the downed economy as these stores would be forced to hire security to present a united front against grandma taking some denture cream without paying for it.
It would make grocery shopping something to look forward to if for no other reason you went and watched as someone yells, "CODE YELLOW!!" and takes down the petty thief. I know my Saturdays would be more entertaining.